A Quick and Dirty Guide to Quick and Dirty Valentines

Valentine's Day might be my very favorite holiday, as it's an excuse to make toasts (whether to good or bad fortune), eat snacks, and surround oneself with crafts.

I used to surround myself with crafts a little too intensely, as you can see from these Valentines I made my freshman year of college:

I don't have time to cut out individual letters anymore, but I still make time to show my friends (28 of them this year) how much I love them with these simple materials:
* Construction paper
* Rubber cement
* Scissors
* Magazine clippings
* A white-out pen (a finer point than a white paint pen, I've found)
* My very punniest, dirtiest attitude

I go through magazines of every sort, from fashion rags to backlogs of Martha Stewart Living, and assess every photograph to see if there's a pun in there. Ads are usually the best source.  Once it's time to make the valentines themselves, I follow this simple rule: the more off-color the valentine, the girlier and fluffier it must appear.  Here are some examples from this year, more or less in order from most innocent to most bawdy*:

"I want 0 degrees of separation between us, Valentine!" 

Yeah, this happened. And it's for a girl.

* The bawdiest of all has yet to be made: A picture of a chicken next to a basket of eggs (just imagine that, yes?). Also not pictured: a valentine for a poet friend that says "take your pantoums off." 

It's really that easy. If you're reading this in a blind Valentine panic, just open your nearest periodical and go to town.


Tomorrow night, my boyfriend and I will hit up the Art Institute and a bar (TBD) for a festive cocktail before heading home to cook dinner ourselves. (He's in charge of the pork chops, and I'm in charge of the pear galette.) Wherever Valentine's Day leads you -- this dance party at Logan Square Auditorium, perhaps? -- I hope you find something to love about this February in Chicago.

Throw Your Own: Anne of Green Gables Brunch

The Lady of Shalott drifts in a pond of raspberry cordial

On January 26, I invited my lady friends over for an Anne Shirley-themed brunch. It had one major flaw from the get-go, which I hope you can learn from: say hello first when you greet your guests at the gate, before you promptly tell them, "Oh, I'm sorry, I sent for a boy." It might make them think they aren't actually invited, or they got the date wrong. They will not beg to stay at Green Gables even though they're girls. It's too soon, way too soon.  Just let the ladies in, and leave the theme for the inside of your apartment, okay?

Decor: 

Braided orange crepe paper, tied at the ends with green crepe paper: instant Anne pigtails for every doorway!

Uncle Buck, dressed as Matthew Cuthbert in the wintertime

Queen Anne's Lace, admittedly fake. Keep an eye out for a glut of bona fide c-h-r-y-s-a-n-t-h-e-m-u-m-s; chrysanthemums.

Food and Drink:

In addition to the raspberry cordial -- which would have been Lindeman's Framboise instead of the ginger ale-vodka-club soda-raspberry syrup combo I mixed up, except I'm not made of money -- I served fruit, three kinds of quiche, roasted potatoes, and carrots.  ("Carrots?!?!")

Instead of drowning in sauce for a pudding meant for Miss Stacy, my brunch's little mouse hid in between two kinds of muffins. 

I regret to inform you that the Lady of Shalott did eventually drown, and Gilbert Blythe did not come by to save her.

Dress Code: 

I greeted each lady with a nametag. If her name didn't already end with an e -- like Anne with an e, of course! -- well, it did for the duration of the brunch. I couldn't stop referring to Caitlin, who became Caitline, as if she were a hard-hitting news program like Dateline. 

Amy!

My invitations encouraged the gals to come in their "finest winter whites, gable greens, and carrot oranges." 

Annie, left,  came in her best "smock-like outfit." Jill was a perfect prairie woman. Sarah eventually started a fight (see "Other Amusements").

Martina's fascinator, what a riot?

Emmy!

Lauren and Jorie

We kept the incomparable 1985 Megan Follows masterpiece on in the background.

Other Amusements:

 I made a slate out of construction paper and foam core (tutorial to follow someday) to break over the heads of any Gilbert Blythes or ornery young ladies.

I was the first to try it out; thanks to Annie for the action shot.

Then Sarah and Caitlin had their own schoolhouse altercation:

Oh, girl, no you DIDN'T call me carrots!

Marilla may not have approved of everything we did -- I'm sure she'd have regarded the whole thing with that very expression -- but we partied on like a band of true bosom friends.  Next stop: Prince Edward Island! 

Throw Your Own: "You've Got Mail" Party

"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies."

Almost two months ago--hi, internet, what's up--I invited my work girlfriends over to celebrate the glory of Nora Ephron and the height of fall with a homespun "You've Got Mail" themed party. My pal Jorie of The Midwest Maven summarized it beautifully on her blog, but I'm reliving it here so you can easily throw your own.

Decor 

You'll need: Construction paper, staples, yarn or twine, glue or rubber cement, access to a printer, a picture frame, lipstick, a ton of pencils, a pencil sharpener, a string of twinkle lights, a bell hung on a string, daisies. 
Bonus points if you already have: A typewriter, a dog

First things first: I hung a bell on the inside of my decked-out door

Honor the AOL chat room that sparked Kathleen and Joe's love with a festive garland. Staple your envelopes and AOL mascot (handily traced onto construction paper from a silhouette I printed from the internet) onto your string or twine and hang as you please.

You could see more clearly in real life that these were "Property of Fox Books" 

A significant vignette: daisies ("don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?"), autumnal gourds, and a portrait of Franco -- more on him below.

Franco (now with more freshly-sharpened pencils in the picture), complete with a lipstick smooch from my very own mouth. As you and IMDB may recall:
Frank Navasky: [about Birdie] She fell in love with Generalissimo Franco! 
Kathleen Kelly: No, don't say that. Really. We don't know that for sure. 
Frank Navasky: Well, who else could it have been? It was probably around 1960. 
Kathleen Kelly: Do you want some popcorn? 
Frank Navasky: I can't believe this! I mean, it's not like he was something normal, like a socialist or an anarchist or something. 
Kathleen Kelly: It happened in Spain. People do really stupid things in foreign countries. 
Frank Navasky: Absolutely. They buy leather jackets for much more than they're worth. But they don't fall in love with fascist dictators!

Do you have a typewriter? You might be Frank Navasky. Quick, go check your driver's license.

There were pencils everywhere. "I would send you a bouquet of freshly-sharpened pencils, if only I knew your name and address."

"Meanwhile, I am going to put up more twinkle lights." 

Last but not least, my dog got into the spirit by cordoning off her bowls as "Property of Brinkley."

Dress Code

I told everyone to wear their best "Meg Ryan-esque neutrals" -- surely you've noticed Kathleen Kelly wears no bright colors -- as modeled below.

Photo courtesy of Jorie

Food and Drink 

Because I threw my party during the leaf-crunchiest week of the year--and don't you love New York in the fall?--I skewed my treats toward autumnal flavors, such as this tangy beer punch from Martha Stewart (I added dashes of ginger oil and grenadine), as well as spiced chocolate crescents from Jill and Jorie's chocolate chip pumpkin bars.

Have any leftover garland envelopes? Use them as coasters! (Photo courtesy of Jorie)

The spread, before the pizza came out of the oven. (Photo courtesy of Jorie)

I also threw in some YGM-specific foods:

"This caviar is [NOT] a garnish!"  And by "caviar" I meant capers and green peppercorns.

"[Brinkley] likes to eat bites of pizza and bagels off the sidewalk, while I prefer to buy them."

Tunes and Ambiance

I queued up songs from Harry Nilsson, Bobby Day, Bobby Darin, and other artists from the glorious movie soundtrack, as well as bouncy songs from my personal playlist/tonic for the soul titled "Nora Ephron to the Rescue" (it's real, oh, it's real), such as "Once In Love with Amy" by Ray Bolger. See what you have on hand, or plumb the depths of the internet -- play it by ear. If it's both peppy and earnest, it's probably just right.

Skip to 1:00, and then try telling me you aren't completely charmed. 

After we filled our plates and hit our gossip quota for the evening, we turned our attentions and affections to "You've Got Mail" itself, and ended the evening clutching our hearts and sighing.

Those sighs were 70% romance-induced and 30% snack-induced, I think.  Whatever it was, we liked it. I hope you like your party, too!