We Went to London, Part 1

 

After months of improvising a nonsensical "Jolly Old London Town" song whenever we were waiting for public transit ("Jolly Old London Town, there's peas and George in London Town"), Zack and I took off for London in August.*

* "It wasn't nonsensical," Zack maintains. "It was edgy comedy!"

I thought we were staying across the street from the British Museum, but we actually stayed on the same block as the British Museum. If our room had been on the opposite side of the hall, we would have had views of the museum's courtyard. I couldn't get over the crassness of my life as I thought about everything I was doing within 1,000 feet of the Rosetta stone: shaving my legs, eating a ball of mozzarella out of a tiny plastic bag (thanks, Sainsbury's, love you), goosing my boyfriend, etc.

We spent our first day walking ourselves silly to keep jet lag at bay. (Thanks for that hot tip, Rick Steves!) We immediately learned a vital life-truth: London is beautiful, America is ugly, Rule Brittania. Get a look at some of these stunners:

I casually glanced to my left and saw THIS HOUSE FROM SENSE AND SENSIBILITY down the street.

We tried to reenact the scene in which it appears:

Sense & Sensibility reenactment, PART 1/2

A video posted by Amelia (@marlojunior) on Aug 8, 2014 at 3:26pm PDT

Sense & Sensibility reenactment, PART 2/2

A video posted by Amelia (@marlojunior) on Aug 8, 2014 at 3:27pm PDT

A world without open container laws is still a world I cannot comprehend.

What is franked mail? I've been meaning to look it up.

 

"Here's a statue of a dead white guy," I explained to my parents as I showed them vacation photos. 

This monument was designed as if the women of World War II can pick up their hats and coats and resume work at any moment.

Tourists yanked on the horses of the Horse Guard Parade anyway. I didn't see a bite or a kick, but I did see a sense of resigned despair in the guard's eye.

This is the last picture we took on the good camera before we went out for the evening, which started with Indian food at Chutney's in Euston.  Then we played nine-ball in a snooker hall where "Ring of Fire" played on the jukebox SIX TIMES IN A ROW, which made us consider canceling vacation. Oh, and somewhere in there I got carded really intensely at a bar, because I look 18? I'll never let that go.

Two Table Settings Inspired by The Simpsons

The Simpsons was forbidden in my house while I was growing up, for fear that it was lewd or unsavory. Even though I've caught my mom watching it in the kitchen while making dinner every now and then (she maintains it's not so bad), the damage has been done: I'm in my twenties and only recently learned the word "cromulent." 

My boyfriend has valiantly caught me up on enough of the classics—"Marge vs. The Monorail," "And Maggie Makes Three"—that I was ready to recreate the show's settings for my Set the Table feature on the Groupon Guide. 

Below are my settings of the Simpsons' house and Moe's Tavern. For product sourcing and rationale (what's that TV dinner doing there?), read the full story on the Guide.

Make Your Own Sea Salt Hair Spray

Most of my blogging happens in the Groupon Guide's Style & Beauty section these days. Earlier in the summer, I convinced my coworkers to try a DIY sea salt hair spray that I made out of drips and dollops of various products I had hanging around my house. Here's the recipe: 

How did it turn out? Find out on the Guide, where you can also admire my colleagues' pretty, pretty hair.

Once More to the Lake

As a Weimaraner, Albright was bred to swim through marshes and retrieve the waterfowls her masters shoot. She has big webbed feet and a keen interest in Chicago's pigeon population, which makes me think she has all the right instincts—until we go to a lake.

Here's how it usually goes:

On Memorial Day, we came across a dog-friendly beach. She ran around, happy-cried, and sniffed other dogs, as I expected. 

But then she got into the lake, starting with her feet in the surf. 

I ran into the waves as a test, and she followed me. I was shocked.

ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS DOG? THIS DOG IN THE LAKE? This dog doesn't do lakes. And yet this dog did a lake.

I'm still not convinced I didn't dream it—did I dream it?—but I'm already looking forward to a summer of playing fetch with floaty toys.

Dream or no dream, I know for certain that we trekked up to Waterfront Cafe to celebrate with a pitcher of sangria. Albright got cozy in the sand and kept a close eye on passersby.

I hope your Memorial Day included a miracle of its own, or at least some day drinking.

How to Style a Crown Braid: Video Tutorial

After a steady stream of flattery from my coworkers wore me down, I shared two hairdo video tutorials on the Groupon Guide last week. One of the videos, for a twisted crown braid, is embedded below. 

You can see both tutorials by clicking here.  They're easy, I promise. 

As an added treat—which was not originally intended to go on the Internet at all—I do some miming at the end.