These pictures are identical, aren't they?
A few months ago in improv class, during an "honest onstage conversation," my friend Ray asked me why I love Real Simple so much.
"Because I am a grown-ass woman!"
While "ass" is one of my favorite suffixes, amusing in and of itself, the real reason this phrase still comes up after class sometimes, I think, is because I'm a spring chicken with a big old baby face. Bartenders and bouncers sometimes try to catch me in a lie when they see my ID -- "Okay, Marlo," they say, waiting to see if I jump or get confused by my presumably fake identity -- and I get mistaken for a high schooler at least four times a year. I may surround myself with adult trappings, like a 401K and a full kitchen of housewares, but apparently nobody is fooled.
I'm turning 25 soon. This is getting demoralizing.
What's it going to take? Stay tuned as I spend the summer figuring it out -- misadventures in following trends, smiling less, figuring out what my hair is actually up to, and other cockamamie ideas are sure to follow.
Or maybe a disguise is my only real option:
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